Troy Primer for Duke Trolls
Mar 13, 2017 22:21:16 GMT -6
trojanbrutha, goe1975, and 1 more like this
Post by Mr. Ho on Mar 13, 2017 22:21:16 GMT -6
For the Duke trolls that actually make an attempt at communicating with losers on this board, here are few fun facts about our school nobody will tell you.
1. Troy is in Alabama, not New York although the Troy in New York is why the Troy in Alabama is called Troy. Seems like the clowns that founded our town in 1843 wanted to name the town after Zebulon Pike, but nobody in the group knew how to write a 'Z', but one guy was from Troy, New York and knew how to write a 'T', thus setting the standard of academic excellence we are so well known for throughout the globe today. Which leads to my next tidbit.
2. Dear Leader likes to claim Troy has an enrollment of 28,000 or so 'students'. While the books do say there are 28,000 or so 'students', about three-fourths of those attend classes in various nefarious locals like Phnom Penh, Cambodia; Mumbai, India; Shanghai and the infamous classroom above a shoe repair shop in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. To put it mildly, we are like the University of Phoenix with Sports. Unfortunately, Dear Leader and his wife Tammy Faye Hawkins spend most of the proceeds from this successful business model on trips circling the globe more times than Leonardo DiCaprio. The actual enrollment of real students in Troy - Alabama might be a hair north of 6,000 which is pretty good considering most couldn't point out Troy on a map if forced too.
3. Some of the most famous Troy people include Bobby John Dinkard who is the only contestant on 'Survivor' to be tossed three times. Troy had another gal actually win Survivor once. She was named Alumnus of the Year but I forget her name since I don't follow who is named Alumnus of the Year. I think Richard Scrushy was named Alumnus of the Year because he married a girl from Troy - literally she was still in school when he was throwing Ben Franklins around the Front Porch at any girl that walked in. It was love at first sight I am sure. Now Demarcus Ware actually has his degree in Time Management; I think Osi Umenyoira got his in Sporting Event Attendance and maybe Lawrence Tynes got his in Recreational Driving. All three have Super Bowl rings. Dear Leader is trying to bribe Osi out of one of his.
4. Our band is highly over-rated. Not the pep band or the basketball band they are great. It's the whole band that is over-rated. A total waste of time and money. I had to put that in there....1.2.3....
5. Troy definitely has nicer basketball facilities than Duke, that's for sure but it always wasn't like that. Our glory years were played in an unheated, un-air conditioned dump with one toilet for the entire arena and pidgeons that would fly around during the game. It was a mess but I miss those days. We scored 253 points against a radio repair college once and Duke will never be able to do that. I think the radio repair school scored 178. Heck, that will never happen again. We went to the DII Final Four twice. Juan Washington missed a go-ahead dunk late in one semi-final against Alaska and we never recovered. The other time we lost to Cal State Husker Du in the finals after putting up 150 in the semi-finals against Mandingo State the previous night. Seemed a bit unfair because the finals were played at 10 am or something crazy. Like Ali-Frazier II in Manila. Anyway, here is our fancy palace. It has plenty of bathrooms and lots of room for more banners. The video boards are nice but they keep showing Dear Leader in his reviewing stand suite waving to the crowd. He rarely leaves that place even after the game is over.
Anyway Ho tired now and go to bed.
1. Troy is in Alabama, not New York although the Troy in New York is why the Troy in Alabama is called Troy. Seems like the clowns that founded our town in 1843 wanted to name the town after Zebulon Pike, but nobody in the group knew how to write a 'Z', but one guy was from Troy, New York and knew how to write a 'T', thus setting the standard of academic excellence we are so well known for throughout the globe today. Which leads to my next tidbit.
2. Dear Leader likes to claim Troy has an enrollment of 28,000 or so 'students'. While the books do say there are 28,000 or so 'students', about three-fourths of those attend classes in various nefarious locals like Phnom Penh, Cambodia; Mumbai, India; Shanghai and the infamous classroom above a shoe repair shop in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. To put it mildly, we are like the University of Phoenix with Sports. Unfortunately, Dear Leader and his wife Tammy Faye Hawkins spend most of the proceeds from this successful business model on trips circling the globe more times than Leonardo DiCaprio. The actual enrollment of real students in Troy - Alabama might be a hair north of 6,000 which is pretty good considering most couldn't point out Troy on a map if forced too.
3. Some of the most famous Troy people include Bobby John Dinkard who is the only contestant on 'Survivor' to be tossed three times. Troy had another gal actually win Survivor once. She was named Alumnus of the Year but I forget her name since I don't follow who is named Alumnus of the Year. I think Richard Scrushy was named Alumnus of the Year because he married a girl from Troy - literally she was still in school when he was throwing Ben Franklins around the Front Porch at any girl that walked in. It was love at first sight I am sure. Now Demarcus Ware actually has his degree in Time Management; I think Osi Umenyoira got his in Sporting Event Attendance and maybe Lawrence Tynes got his in Recreational Driving. All three have Super Bowl rings. Dear Leader is trying to bribe Osi out of one of his.
4. Our band is highly over-rated. Not the pep band or the basketball band they are great. It's the whole band that is over-rated. A total waste of time and money. I had to put that in there....1.2.3....
5. Troy definitely has nicer basketball facilities than Duke, that's for sure but it always wasn't like that. Our glory years were played in an unheated, un-air conditioned dump with one toilet for the entire arena and pidgeons that would fly around during the game. It was a mess but I miss those days. We scored 253 points against a radio repair college once and Duke will never be able to do that. I think the radio repair school scored 178. Heck, that will never happen again. We went to the DII Final Four twice. Juan Washington missed a go-ahead dunk late in one semi-final against Alaska and we never recovered. The other time we lost to Cal State Husker Du in the finals after putting up 150 in the semi-finals against Mandingo State the previous night. Seemed a bit unfair because the finals were played at 10 am or something crazy. Like Ali-Frazier II in Manila. Anyway, here is our fancy palace. It has plenty of bathrooms and lots of room for more banners. The video boards are nice but they keep showing Dear Leader in his reviewing stand suite waving to the crowd. He rarely leaves that place even after the game is over.
Anyway Ho tired now and go to bed.